The Code of the Woosters

Harking back to Archimedes just once more, Jeeves’s description of him discovering the principle of displacement, though brief, had made a deep impression on me, bringing before my eyes a very vivid picture of what must have happened on that occasion. I had been able to see the man testing the bath water with his toe…stepping in…immersing the frame. I had accompanied him in spirit through all the subsequent formalities — the soaping of the loofah, the shampooing of the head, the burst of song…
And then, abruptly, as he climbs towards the high note, there is a silence. His voice has died away. Through the streaming suds you can see

Well, be that as it may,

Winged creatures of the night barged into me, but I gave them little attention.

was not prepared to go quite so far as this in my attitude towards an, on the whole, excellent body of men.
‘Well, not en masse, if you understand the expression. I suppose they vary, like other sections of the community, some being full of

Yes, sir.’ I shook my head. Waste of time really, of course, because he couldn’t see me.

It was not so very long since she had been speaking in high terms of blackmail and giving it her hearty approval, but if you want to derive real satisfaction from blackmail, you have to be at the right end of it.

‘And switching to another aspect of the affair, you haven’t any immediate plans for getting me out of this, I suppose?’

‘Not adequately formulated, sir. I am turning over an idea in my mind.’

‘Turn well, Jeeves. Spare no effort.’

I don’t think I have ever assisted at a ceremony which gave such universal pleasure to all concerned. The sheet didn’t split, which pleased Gussie. Nobody came to interrupt us, which pleased me. And when I dropped the suitcase, it hit Gussie on the head, which delighted Aunt Dahlia.

Spink-Bottle, you ghastly goggle-eyed piece of gorgonzola, will you hop it or will you not?’

‘Bertie,’ said Aunt Dahlia, ‘I am only a weak woman, but if you won’t tread on this insect and throw the remains outside, I shall have to see what I can do.