The Fran Lebowitz Reader

Children give life to the concept of immaturity.

So You Want to Be the Pope?

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

“We have cinnamon raisin bread and english muffins and we can put whatever we like on it because we have democracy.”

The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one’s soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive—you are leaking.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.