Reardon Publishing

The movies humans make about sex-starved female vampires: well, they are nearly true

Males may be so much stronger than females, but this one needs to know that I am now ready, and my claws will stay where they are until he is prepared to satisfy me; either that or he will never pleasure another female ever again.

even if she was not pregnant, she remembered that being pregnant was the only thing she had wanted to be in the dream.

Suck his finger, yuck! The pervert!
Amy had the internet, so she knew full well what sucking a guy’s finger meant, and well, free flight sex on the wing was one thing, but she was certainly not the kind of girl that went around sucking guys’ fingers, nor would she ever be that sort of girl.

kay, as a vampire, fingersucking need not be thought of as sexual; no one has laid down any rules on after-vampire-sex etiquette. Perhaps this was like the old films of smoking in bed together, as if choking on an offered cigarette

thank you, that was nice; would you like to go out for a meal now?”
Heck, I’m a vampire!

it was sex then a meal afterwards.

Being a vampire is not like in the movies; it is boring, and having the whole world out to get you just because you have better teeth than they do is unfair and totally specie-ist. I don’t go on about humans having short puny teeth and odd smells, now, do I?
Well, to try and educate you a little before the bell rings and you all go back to the trees with the other apes, I am going to explain just how and why my life is so unfair in being a teenage vampire.
Where should I start? No, not at the beginning, unless you wish me to discuss potty training or my special gift of being sick over things that were dry-clean only. Instead, let me start at the worst age possible, like right now: a teenager, and at a time in my life when I could die a thousand deaths daily in indescribable ways as I am forced to face the unending, living hell. Yes, you guessed it; it’s called high school.
And by the way, my name is Amy, and this is my life, if you can call it a life. Okay, so just sit back, shut up, and let me tell you all about it; if you fidget, then I should warn you that I was not joking about having better teeth than you, and they are sharp!

all she knew was that she was a living vampire

and at a time in my life when I could die a thousand deaths daily in indescribable ways as I am forced to face the unending, living hell. Yes, you guessed it; it’s called high school.