Closer to Love

What is important to realize is that all of the above examples are behaviours, and don’t describe someone’s exact personality.

We all have that need for intimate connection, but can’t always achieve it with everyone we meet.

If you look solely at someone’s reaction to a situation,
a lot of misunderstanding can follow.

your attachment style is the specific way that you relate to others in relationships. It’s something that was shaped in your early childhood in response to your relationship with your caregivers. Your adult attachment style is, essentially, a mirror of the earlier dynamic you developed with your caregivers as an infant. Just in the way you learned (or didn’t) to love, you also learned to what degree to attach or not attach to another person, regardless of how important and valued their role in your life.

You might have very specific expectations of how your partner should behave and also expect them to accept the way
you are. If these patterns are old, ingrained habits, they could stunt the relationship from the start and that’s obviously not what you want.

Many of these behaviours are triggered by our attachment style.

when we relinquish painful memories, we create space in our heart, decluttering it of resentment, anger, fear, and pain.

There’s no blueprint for how we interpret our past or use our experiences in the present. Everyone is different, but we
all act in response to what we have gone through, no matter

There’s no blueprint for how we interpret our past or use our experiences in the present. Everyone is different, but we
all act in response to what we have gone through, no matter what that response is.

Some of us may cling to pain because we think it’s a part of who we are, while others might attach themselves to people who trigger negative feelings from their past because they think that’s the normal state to be in.